


A Pearl Walks Into A Bar

by RaineLionheart



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Always Sheena, Angst and Humor, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mystery Girl's Name is Sheena (Steven Universe), Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Takes Place During And
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineLionheart/pseuds/RaineLionheart
Summary: Immediately following the events of Steven Universe: The Movie, Pearl drops in on Sheena with a bottle of vinegar and an emotional struggle.Rated T for coarse language and intoxication.
Relationships: Mystery Girl/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	1. 5% Acidity

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Working On It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8030155) by [autumnmycat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnmycat/pseuds/autumnmycat). 



> Oh dear. Another thing fell out of my brain instead of a new chapter of Boundless Future. Hey, it's writing. I'm just glad I was able to wring _something_ out.

_ Aqua Town _

Sheena Ramone was the bartender at Hydrowerx, the only (dive) bar in Aqua Town. On a Thursday evening, it was quiet, if not steady.

Sheena was idly wiping glasses with a stained rag she was sure was older than her. Her eyes darted back to the TV in the corner, where the local news station was covering…

Well, Sheena wasn't sure what was going on.

An enormous machine, similar in design to a bacteriophage, was planted on the incline of a grassy hill. Sheena knew exactly where it was. Beach City.

It  _ must _ have something to do with Pearl.

She had called and texted a dozen times, but had not received a response.

Her boss had talked some sense into her, cuffing her upside the head when she tried to beg out of work to go check on Pearl.

Demy knew what was up with Gemkind and the dangers of being so close to the epicenter of Delmarva weirdness.

So Sheena was trying her hardest not to think about her willowy alien warrior girlfriend, and what danger she was facing.

One of the patrons gestured for his bill. Sheena settled his tab and gave him a polite wave as he left. Glancing around the bar, she realized that there were no other patrons. She sighed and put her head down on the bar.

_ Don't think about it.  _

Blindly fumbling, Sheena found the remote and switched the TV off. She didn't want to hear the inane commentary of the clueless news anchors.

She stayed like that for at least a half hour, trying and failing to keep her mind off Pearl.

* * *

After her shift, she returned to her apartment and fell asleep immediately. She was too emotionally taxed to even microwave a meal. Instead, she merely slipped out of her boots and fell into bed, still dressed.

When she awoke in the afternoon, she was groggy but functional. Still, she wished Peridot had taken her sub dermal caffeine pump idea seriously. 

Her phone's notification light was flashing. Heart thumping, her hand shot out to grab it. Her hands shook as she unlocked it.

There was a message from Pearl. Oh, thank the stars.

_ We are alive and… well, mostly uninjured. I promise that I'll come see you tonight. _

_ I love you. _

Relief as palpable as ice water flowed over her. She felt her eyes sting with tears.

As she got ready for her evening shift, she put the news on to catch up on what had happened. 

The pink fluid...

The fissures and cracks in the Earth...

That massive alien thing exploding...

Sheena spent an hour crying before her shower.

* * *

The evening dragged on.

For a Friday, it was shockingly quiet. Only a half-dozen patrons had come in this evening, and even they only stayed for a drink or two.

Demy was sure it had to do with whatever happened in Beach City yesterday. Aqua Town was about 50 miles away, but the two shared a bit of a kinship (and several family lines). She could imagine a lot of her neighbors were flocking to Beach City to be with their families and friends. 

So why was Sheena still here? Well, Demy would have her ass in a vice if she didn't show up. And if she was perfectly honest, she knew that she would be overwhelmed by all the aftermath.

Besides, Pearl had promised to come see her.

Nine o'clock turned to ten, turned to midnight…

At one-thirty, with a half hour left and no customers since ten, Sheena's heart was below sea level, seeking a new depth.

She glanced at her phone for the umpteenth time.

She wiped down every glass she had.

She folded and refolded all her rags.

She counted the money in the till three times.

At one-forty, the door of Hydrowerx exploded off its hinges, crashing into the nearby table. Sheena shrieked and took cover.

A lilting giggle and a tipsy, "Whoopsie daisy!" greeted her from the entrance. Cautiously, Sheena peered over the bar top.

Pearl was wearing a dopey grin, and her face was bright teal. She saw Sheena and beamed.

"Sheeeeeeenaaaaa! There y'are!" She gestured with one hand (the one not holding a bottle) at the wreckage before her. "S-so sorry 'bout that. I guess I dunno my own strength."

She  _ hiccupped.  _

Sheena was speechless.

Pearl continued to stare, uncharacteristically wobbly on her feet. Her drunken smile was slowly melting.

"Whas wrong?" She slurred. "Is it th'door? I'll get Bismiss tuh fixit."

Sheena snapped out of her shock and barreled over the bar. She grabbed Pearl and pulled her against her tight.

"Pearl! I was so scared! I saw the news!" She held Pearl out, looking her over. "You didn't regenerate. Are you okay?"

Pearl cackled and leaned heavily against Sheena (well, heavily for Pearl). Sheena caught an acidic tang on her breath. "Iss all fiiiine," she hissed, trying not to giggle. "Stre-Steven handled it, an' Spinel iss gone with th'Diamonds, and the plant gets to be kissed now." Her eyes narrowed. "Planet. Not plant." She broke from Sheena's grip to examine the bottle in her hand. "Thistuff iss sstrooonger than I member it."

Sheena pried the bottle from Pearl's drunken grasp, wondering what on Earth her girlfriend had been consuming…

FANCIFUL KITCHENS

RED WINE VINEGAR

5% ACIDITY

SULFITES ADDED

"What the…  _ you're drinking vinegar?" _

Pearl rolled her eyes and slurred, "Well your silly Earth acko-alcohol don't do nothing t'me." She snatched the bottle back and took a decent draw from it. Sheena's esophagus burned sympathetically.

"When me 'nd Amethyst 'nd Rose were really popular in Greece… they din't like Garn-Garnet 'cause she'sa seeeeer... they drank at us… no, tooooo us. An' we never got drunk 'till Amers ate a bad cask, 'nd boy wuzzat a fun night!"

She started laughing again. Sheena felt her legs give and quickly supported her. She was a giggling rag doll with sharp corners and superhuman strength.

"Pearl… stars above,  _ look at you _ ." She sighed and pulled the loopy Gem into her arms, carrying her into the backroom.

She carefully deposited her on Demy's couch and knelt down beside her. Pearl's eyes were unfocused, but she was still smiling happily.

Sheena had never seen Pearl like this before. She knew how much the once infamous Renegade Pearl prided herself on her discipline and strength. To see her losing control like this was unsettling. Sheena stroked her gemstone, and Pearl closed her eyes with a pleased sigh.

"I'm glad you're alive Pearl, but I think you need some rest." She bit her lip, worrying at her piercing nervously. "You can stay here for the night, ok? I need to head back to-"

Pearl's eyes shot open. With an expression of fright, she grabbed Sheena's hand. But forgetting her strength again, she squeezed too hard, and Sheena yelped in pain.

Pearl gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She curled in on herself in shame, squeaking, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

Shaking her hand (merely sore, not broken), Sheena shushed her and tried to reassure her. "It's okay Pearl. You didn't hurt me badly. See?"

She flexed her hand to prove so.

Pearl nodded. She kept gazing back at her with those enormous blue eyes, wet and wide and full of pain.

Sheena placed a kiss on her gemstone and whispered, "Go to sleep, my love. I'll stay right here with you, okay? I won't leave."

"Okay," Pearl mumbled back, eyes closing again. "I love you Sheena."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demy is named for my friend [Demyx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScalaSpiral/pseuds/Demyx)!
> 
> I loved the idea of Gems (or at least Pearl) getting drunk from vinegar instead of alcohol. It's especially evocative for me, a recovering alcoholic, because pearls dissolve in acid. Therefore, magic not withstanding, Pearl is risking harm to herself by drinking, as humans do with alcohol.
> 
> I have at least one more chapter planned, to lay out the emotional turmoil that Pearl is facing, and hopefully resolve it. I've been slacking on every other story I've got (Sorry!) so I plan to keep this one short.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter when I can.


	2. Sulphites Added

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffering from a heady hangover, Pearl has no choice but to let Sheena in far deeper than she ever expected, or perhaps wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me on this one.

Sheena had never had to deal with a drunk Gem before. This meant she had never had to deal with a hungover Gem either.

"It feels like I ate a package of batteries last night," Pearl moaned as she slowly sat up, removing the sleep mask with which Sheena had covered her gemstone. She clutched the sides of her head, breathing deeply, though for what purpose, Sheena couldn't imagine. She handed Pearl a glass of water and rubbed her back soothingly. 

"It's called a hangover," she explained. "In the case of humans, our bodies can't-"

Pearl flapped her free hand dismissively as she gulped down the water. "Yes, yes, I know what a hangover is," she said shortly. "I've had the misfortune of associating with your species for millennia. I've seen my fair share of remorseful drinkers."

At Sheena's silence, Pearl winced and said, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

With a chuckle, Sheena patted her back and said, "I know what it feels like, so I'll let that slide."

Pearl huffed and replied, "Really, you shouldn't. That was terribly rude of me. And my feeling like the remains of a bombed out bunker is no excuse."

With another laugh, Sheena pulled Pearl's head to her chest and embraced her gently.

“Oh. This is rather nice,” Pearl said, muffled by her lover’s bosom. Sheena rolled her eyes but chuckled.

They remained like that for a few minutes, relieved at the contact and warmth. But Sheena was aching to get the whole story.

"Babe, what happened?"

Pearl sighed, squeezing Sheena affectionately. She looked up, smiling sadly.

"There are some things that I should tell you about myself first. I-" She hesitated, and Sheena felt her form become rigid. She placed her hand on Pearl's.

Pearl took a deep breath. "I never wanted to tell you these things, because I was… I _am_ afraid of what you might think of me."

Sheena nodded hesitantly. Thinking back over the almost three year that she had known her, Pearl had spoken about her past probably three or four times, in vague terms alluding to a war against her own kind. From what the other Gems had told her, she had a complex relationship with the original leader of the Crystal Gems. Who also happened to be Steven's mother. And in a soap opera twist that Sheena had once believed was the result of poor writing, she was also a princess in disguise or something?

Well, having seen the Terrifying Renegade Pearl, as Garnet liked to jest, both in action and in affection, she was willing to believe just about anything. 

"You see, Pearls are not typical Gems. We are custom made servants for the elite castes." Her expression became stormy. "It's all different now, thanks to Steven, but I was once…"

"A slave," Sheena whispered, horrified.

Pearl nodded. "Essentially. I was created to serve one of the matriarchs of Homeworld."

_Pink Diamond,_ Sheena thought to herself. Steven's mother. It all made so much sense now.

"I was a part of her entourage when she first came to oversee the colonization of Earth. I may be responsible for her deciding to rebel…" she smiled sheepishly, to Sheena's amusement.

Pearl kept speaking, answering questions Sheena might have, filling in the gaps. She covered the catastrophic conclusion of the war, and what it meant for the Crystal Gems. And Rose's decision to have Steven. Having met Pearl's extended family, she was more caught up on the events of the last few years.

"And so," she said at length, "what happened on Thursday."

She heaved another sigh, rubbing her eyes wearily. 

"Before I was created for her, Pink Diamond had a playmate, a Gem called Spinel. Pink would spend time with her in a secluded garden, playing and joking, while the other Diamonds continued their colonization efforts.

"But when she received her Earth colony, Pink refrained from bringing Spinel with her. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Pink ordered her to…" Pearl trailed off, and Sheena could see fresh tears in her eyes, so she pulled her into an embrace.

"Pink ordered her to stand still until she returned," Pearl sobbed. "And poor little Spinel, always so desperate to please her best friend…"

Sheena felt a surge of dread. "Pearl. How long did Spinel stand there?"

Pearl sniffed, her eyes wrenched shut. In a shaky voice, she answered, "Over six thousand years."

Sheena actually gasped aloud. _Six fucking thousand years?_

She let Pearl sob for several minutes, processing that absurd notion.

"She heard Steven's message to the Gempire. Found out about Pink. About Steven. She got her hands on some incredibly dangerous technology, then headed for Earth."

"What did she want?"

Pearl shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not even sure _she_ knew what she wanted exactly. She arrived on a gigantic injector, similar to the ones that are used in Gem production. But it was filled with a bio-toxin."

"That pink shit on the news?"

Pearl started to scold Sheena for using an obscenity, but thought better of it and nodded. "Part of her plan was obviously to destroy all life on Earth. The other…" She brought her knees up to her chest as she petered out.

Sheena didn't push. She left Pearl mull over it for a bit.

"She reset me."

Sheena's brow raised in confusion. "She what-now?"

Pearl gestured in that cute way she did when she was in lecture mode. "She used a weapon called a Rejuvenator. It returns a Gem to their default settings."

"Like... like a fucking cellphone?"

Pearl stared at her, uncomprehending.

Sheena groaned. "She restored your Gem like you were a goddamn cellphone."

Pearl had the ghost of a smile on her lips. "I suppose so, yes."

"So… what happened?"

Pearl's ducked her head. Her cheeks were burning blue again.

"I...I uh… I actually don't remember very much of that period. But I'm told that I indentured myself to… _Greg_."

Now, Sheena would be the first to admit that her sense of humor was twisted. As she knew all about Pearl’s once acrimonious relationship with Greg, she failed to hold back a peal of laughter. Luckily, Pearl seemed to see the irony of it as well and gave a little giggle.

“He was so mortified by the whole thing. Greg is genuinely one of the kindest people I have ever met, and knowing that he was put in such an awful position like that…” She turned crestfallen again. “It was so hard on him and Steven, him especially.” Her expression darkened, and she stated coldly, “She used the Rejuvenator on him as well.”

Sheena cursed again. Pearl finally scolded her before reciting what she had been told by Steven and Amethyst.

"... and so, Spinel went back to Homeworld with the Diamonds. Repairs have started in Beach City and Little Homeworld."

“I see. So what’s with the vinegar?” Sheena asked.

Pearl blushed again and averted her eyes. “Th...that was a poor decision on my part.”

Sheena laughed and replied, “Pearl, if I had a dime for every time I made a poor decision concerning alcohol, I’d probably own half of Aqua Town.”

“Well, be that as it may, there’s still no excuse for my awful behavior.” She winced and rubbed her bicep uneasily. “Will your boss be willing to let Bismuth fix it?”

Sheena grimaced as she tried to picture Demy’s reaction to the damage. She was sure she would be okay with Bismuth making the repairs.

“And your hand!” Pearl’s hands went to her mouth again. “Oh stars, I _hurt_ you last night!”

Sheena held up her hand and flexed it as she had the night before. “It’s sore, but it’s not broken Pearlie.” She caressed the distressed Gem’s face. “I forgive you, okay?”

Pearl wasn't completely mollified, but she nodded anyway.

"So you decided to get plastered, huh?" Sheena jibed. "No shame in that."

"I respectfully disagree," Pearl murmured. "I don't know what came over me. Amethyst had a few bottles laying around, and of course, she knows how to push my buttons." Sheena snorted, having witnessed the pair bickering a few times herself. "Mind you, I can't fault her completely. It was my choice." She groaned again. "My utterly poor choice."

She fell silent again, and Sheena settled for stroking her hair.

"I needed the escape. I just didn't want to think about... It's so frightening. It took me millennia to finally become the Gem that I wanted to be. I was a gifted warrior and engineer; a part of a team that I call a family. I was finally getting over-" She glanced at Sheena and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Over Rose.

"And in a single instant, it was snatched away from me."

Pearl stared blankly at the wall. She looked as though she wanted to go on, but nothing came forth.

Sheena knew that she was out of her depth now. By the stars, Pearl had been _erased_! Recovered, yes. But what sort of comfort could she offer for something like that?

Well, obviously, cuddling. That was a start. Cuddles were fantastic for hangovers. And emotional turmoil.

They'd figure the rest out later.

Together.

"I love you Pearl. Don't forget that."

"I love you too Sheena. That's something that I'll never forget."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sulphites give my mum and sister headaches, so the chapter title is partially a reference to Pearl's hangover. Additionally, sulphites are used as preservatives, and this chapter focuses on Pearl trying to preserve the sense of self she was able to cultivate, before Spinel reset her; and also her relationship with Sheena, which she fears may be in jeopardy after the entire crisis, her drunken behavior and her revealing her past.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed it. I don't think I'll be adding to this, but I'm not ruling it out. There's a lot about Mystery Pearl that I want to address.


End file.
